Swine Flu Panic
by peace-love-mustacheman
Summary: A seemingly normal day at Seigaku, Rikkaidai, and Hyotei. At least, until someone sneezed...


It was another normal day in Seigaku. Well, as "normal" as it would get. Kaidoh was fighting with Momo over something stupid, again. Inui was just…THERE. Tezuka was being buchou as always, telling everyone to "not let down their guard". Ryoma was being all arrogant and saying "mada mada dane". Eiji was being bubbly and hyper while Oishi was worrying. Taka-san was in BURNING mode, 'cause he had a tennis racquet. It's tennis practice, 'nuff said. And Fuji was just…smiling. Just…smiling. Everything was normal and dandy.

BUT THEN, something terrible happened. Eiji sneezed. Like, out of nowhere. No allergies, he wasn't sick, it just HAPPENED. WUT THE HECK. But it was awesome, so it was okay.

BUT THEN, Eiji sneezed again. And again. And again. Which is weird, since that's a lot.

So Oishi started worrying, something about "swine flu pandemic". Tezuka was like "yudan sezu ni ikou" again. Inui was like, "ii data…" Kaidoh was like, "FSHUUU…" Momo was all, "What's wrong Eiji-senpai? Are you sick? Will you be able to take me to burgers today?" Taka-san was STILL in BURNING mode, since he STILL held his racquet. Ryoma went to buy a Ponta. And Fuji just SMILED. STILL. 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE DOES. DEAL WITH IT.

BUT THEN, Ryoma sneezed. While drinking his Ponta. Which meant it got everywhere. Which everyone just laughed at. Since Ryoma NEVER FAILS. LIKE WUT THE HECK.

BUT THEN, Ryoma sneezed again. And again. And AGAIN. Like Eiji. He didn't even get to finish his Ponta since he was sneezing so much!

So Oishi started to go into PANIC mode. Eiji just asked Ryoma, "Ochibi, are you sick?" Tezuka was still, "yudan sezu ni ikou". Inui was still, "ii data…" Kaidoh was still, "FSHUUU…" Momo was still laughing, due to slow reaction time. Taka-san is STILL in BURNING mode, since the racquet didn't go anywhere. And Fuji just smiled. That's it. Just SMILED.

BUT THEN, Tezuka sneezed. While saying "yudan sezu ni ikou" to Ryoma, which came out as "yudan sezu ni-ACHOO!" Which sounded funny, you have to admit.

BUT THEN, Tezuka sneezed AGAIN. Which NEVER HAPPENS. Because he NEVER LETS HIS GUARD DOWN. Hence his motto.

So Oishi just spazzed out. Along the lines of "OHMYGOSHWHATAREWEGOINGTODOTEZUKAJUSTSNEEZEDWHICHMEANSHEISSICKANDOHMYGOSHWHATIFHEHASSWINEFLUWHATIFEVERYONEHASSWINEFLUWHEREISTHEVACCINEANDETC." Inui was scribbling in his notebook furiously saying, "my data was wrong…" Kaidoh and Momo were speechless. Taka-san dropped his racquet in surprise and was out of BURNING mode. And Fuji, GUESS WHAT, smiled. JUST SMILED.

BUT THEN, everyone started sneezing. They just sneezed, and sneezed. And sneezed some more.

EXCEPT FOR FUJI. No, he just SMILED. Like everyone spazztically sneezing was NORMAL, EVERYDAY STUFF. Which it wasn't, no, it was FAR from it.

And you just think Seigaku was spazztically sneezing? HECK NO. O' course another school was also sneezing like crazy. Another school like…RIKKAIDAI!

It was a normal day in Rikkaidai. A glorious day of Yukimura observing his wonderful, amazing, perfect tea as they ran wonderful, amazing, perfect laps. BECAUSE RIKKAIDAI'S THE BEST AND YOU KNOW IT.

Now, as Yukimura was observing, he smiled brilliant, 'cause he's a bishie. And that made everything all sparkly and pretty and awesome. DUH.

Very run-of-the-mill, y'know? Niou was off ditching laps and petenshi-ing. Canada Sanada was all "TARUNDORU!!!" to Niou because even if he's **RIKKAIDAI**, he needs to train. Yagyuu just ran his laps all gentleman-y. glasses glinting all the while. Marui and Aka-chan had decided it'd be a great idea to put random thing in Yanagi's way and see if he made it alive. Jackal was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to convince Marui and Aka-chan to stop bugging Yanagi, because he's on Akaya-duty. And he has, like, no personality. And, yes, Yukimura just stood there watching, smiling _brilliantly_. BECAUSE HE'S AMAZING..

BUT THEN, Jackal sneezed. Like, ACHOO sneezed. RANDOMLY. OUT OF THE BLUE. WAT THE HECK.

BUT THEN, Canada Sanada sneezed. Like Jackal, all ACHOO-Y. Right when he was saying "TARUNDORU!!!" so it sounded like "TARUNDO-ACHOO!" Which sounded funny, ADMIT IT.

BUT THEN, Aka-chan sneezed. Like Jackal and Canada Sanada. Just, you know, the regular ACHOO sneeze that everyone has. Except he sneezed when he was putting random things in Yanagi's way, so he sneezed on a random thing, which is disgusting. But I digress…

BUT THEN, Yanagi sneezed. Like everyone else that also sneezed since I don't feel like typing their names again. Anyway, Yanagi just SNEEZED. While trying to jump over a random thing Marui and Aka-chan put in his way, causing him to fall and fail. Which made everyone laugh, and Yukimura smile. LIKE ALWAYS. _BRILLIANTLY._

BUT THEN, Marui sneezed. You know, like EVERYONE ELSE. ACHOO. But he was last, so haha. Well, not really, but WHATEVER. He sneezed. END OF STORY. Well, you only WISH it was the end, but it isn't. HA. BURN. Anyway…

And Yukimura just SMILED. _BRILLIANTLY._ You know, SMILED. Curving of the lips upward. SMILE. Like sneezing was NORMAL. And I guess it was, so whatever.

BUT THEN, Canada Sanada sneezed. Again. So Marui wasn't last. TOLD YOU SO.

BUT THEN, Canada Sanada sneezed again. And again. But that's it. JUST KIDDING. Canada Sanada didn't sneeze thrice. No, he didn't even sneeze five times. HE SNEEZED SEVEN TIMES. OH WUT NOW. 'cause he's special.

And everyone else just stared. And stared. And stared. BUT NOT YUKIMURA! No, he stared and SMILED. _BRILLIANTLY._ BIG DIFFERENCE.

Then everyone laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Yukimura just smiled, and chuckled. _Brilliantly_.

Canada Sanada was shouting "TARUNDORU!!!" when he sneezed AGAIN. So it came out funny again, like "TARUNDO-ACHOO!" which everyone just laughed harder. 'cause Canada Sanada just failed. Which isn't normal.

And that's what happened at Rikkaidai. No, no one was worried if they had swine flu. It's not like they had an Oishi over there. 'Course not. WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN MAN? Gez…

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! You think only SEIGAKU and RIKKAIDAI were special? NAÏVE! O' course not! Hyotei was special too, very special…not really but YOU KNOW WHAT DEAL WITH IT.

It was a normal day at the PRESTIGIOUS Hyotei. Which is weird since so many people go there…huh. WEIRD. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE.

So Atobe was being all "BE AWED BY MEH PROWESS! *snap*" And Kabaji was being all "USU." Yuushi just pushed up his glasses, you know, for show. Jirou was sleeping, which is ADORABLE! KYA~! Shishido was all like "LAME" and Choutarou was like "That's not very nice, Shishido-san!" Hiyoshi was just THERE, being all "Gekokujou". Gakuto was trying to touch the sun it appears, oh no, he's just jumping really high. Which is IMPOSSIBLE by the way. DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME, YOU WILL FAIL. GUARANTEED.

BUT THEN, oh yes, another but then. Jirou sneezed. Like "ACHOO~!" Very adorable-like 'cause JIROU'S ADORABLE ADMIT IT. Oh, and he was still unconscious, like, ASLEEP. AGAIN. WHICH HE CAN DO CAUSE HE'S MAGICAL, ADMIT IT.

BUT THEN, Jirou sneezed again. And again. And again. And soon he was spazzing out sneezing, which is still adorable, ADMIT IT.

So Atobe was being all, "STOP SNEEZING, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AWED BY MY PROWESS!" And Kabaji was being all, "USU." Yuushi just stood there with his glasses, for show. Shishido was all like "LAME" since sneezing is TOTALLY LAME. WHICH I AM COMPLETELY AGAINST SINCE JIROU IS NEVA LAME! AND NOTHING HE DOES IS LAME!!! Anyway, Choutarou, being the little good boy, asked Jirou, "Are you okay?" which got no response because Jirou was still ASLEEP. I TOLD YOU HE WAS MAGICAL! Hiyoshi continued his "Gekokujou" 'cause he just does. And Gakuto was fanboying over Yuushi WHILE jumping towards the sun. 'Cause he's just…weird like that? I don't think there's a better explanation…

BUT THEN, Atobe sneezed. Like, during his whole "PROWESS" schpeal. Like, "BE INTOXICATED BY MY PROW-ACHOO!" Which sounded funny, obviously. ATOBE IS FULL OF LAWLS ADMIT IT.

BUT THEN, Atobe sneezed. AGAIN. And again. It was lawl win.

Kabaji sneezed once, which sounded like "USUU!" in sneeze form, then stopped, and watched Atobe. Yuushi just stood there, all beastliness, with his showy glasses. Shishido was all like "HAHAHA, ATOBE'S LAME!" since Atobe sneezing was TOTALLY LAME. UNLIKE JIROU WHO IS ADORABLE WHEN HE SNEEZES WHILE SLEEPING ADMIT IT. Choutarou was getting worried, still like a good little boy, saying "Oh, are you okay Atobe-buchou? GASP! Do you have swine flu?" And Atobe replied during the short break that he wasn't sneezing, "ORE-SAMA WOULD NEVER CATCH SUCH A COMMONER'S DISEASE!" Hiyoshi was still being all "Heh, heh, heh…Gekokujou." Since APPARENTLY, his EVIL Gekokujou plan is working. You know, since Atobe's spazzing out sneezing. And Gakuto was still fanboying over Yuushi, in a dramatic way where they would be like "AW YUUSHI! AW GAKUTO!" to each other ANYTIME NOW. JUST WAIT FOR IT.

Oh, and that's not all…oh wait, it is. NEVERMIND THEN. Yea, so Seigaku, Rikkaidai, and Hyotei were spazztically sneezing for the rest of practice. THE END. YAY FOR HAPPY ENDINGS!!! Sort of…

_A/N: __LOVE:__ VERY RANDOM (and hyper) I KNOW. But FULL OF AWESOME WIN. ADMIT IT. You know you want to…xD Anyway, we got this idea from a IM convo. It was along the lines of "OMK, WOULDN'T EVERYONE BE HAVING A SNEEZING FIT BECAUSE OF US?" Which made us laugh, and come up with this. CAUSE WE ARE AMAHZING LIKE THAT. ADMIT IT. _

_Oh, and I hope we didn't offend anyone…SORRY IF WE DID WE WERE JUST JOKING AROUND 'CAUSE WE ARE BEAST LIKE THAT._

_Now for some explanations…_

_Canada Sanada: THAT IS HIS NAME NOW! DON'T FORGET IT._

_Aka-chan: OBVIOUSLY Kirihara Akaya. 'cause he's a "perfect little angel babeh"._

_Why Fuji and Yukimura don't sneeze: BECAUSE THEY ARE IMMUNE TO EVERYTHING. AND THEY WOULD JUST SMILE AS IF EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL, which it sort of isn't, since usually they wouldn't be spazztically sneezing. You know, 'cause…yea._

_Now for a word from my partner in crime, Peace._

_PEACE:__ (while doing the actual hand movements)_

_Happy llama_

_Sad llama_

_Mentally retarded llama_

_Rock llama_

_Super llama_

_Big fat mama llama_

_Drama llama_

_Dead llama_

_MOOSE_

_CAMEL_

_RYOMA!_

_LOVE:__ Yea, wonderful. Anyway, please press the little button below that says REVIEW. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. Or you can just save the story too. Or close the window. Whatever, with free will and all. BAI! Until next time!_


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